So some of you will be thinking right now that I am a scrooge or a Grinch but that is not the case at all. In fact if anything I am more like the Grinch’s dog Max. I am fully immersed in a hatred of all the things that Christmas has become and yet somehow it still manages to melt my frosty heart and suck me into the holiday spirit.
So without further ado, here are the 12 reasons Christmas sucks…one for every day:
#12 – Christmas songs actually make you spend money :: From malls to street corners the tunes of the holidays remind us that we have gifts to buy in order to show our holiday spirit
#11 – Jack frost nipping at your everything :: Shopping in cold weather sucks, but so does Christmas in a warm climate (I’m in San Diego…it just doesn’t feel right.)
#10 – Starbucks is the most festive place on earth :: With 6 disgustingly festive drinks, 10 holiday mix/remix CD’s, and a plethora of decorations and themed mugs, its almost the perfect place to shop for loved ones (relax…I said almost!)
#9 – Christmas lights cannot be left up all year :: It would be so much easier if we could just turn them off and leave them up for the other 11 months, but noooo!
#8 – There is no Santa! :: When you’re an adult, wish lists are like holiday order forms. You might as well give me a gift card and save me the effort of returning the uh…”surprise” you bought for me on the 24th.
#7 – There are not enough weekends in December :: People have started to send out “save the date” emails in October… that’s just not right.
#6 – Jingle guilt, jingle guilt, jingle makes you pay :: The same sad looking little old men and women get posted by the salvation army every year to ring jingle bells that remind us that we are evil if we don’t put something in the big red bucket.
#5 – There’s no tradition of dressing slutty :: Ladies, you do it for Halloween, why not Christmas. I’d be very happy to unwrap a present with little more than a bow on it.
#4 – Egg Nog and Brandy :: Contrary to popular belief, this combination makes NO ONE happy. Not even grandma.
#3 – Hoe Hoe Hoe :: Because Christmas music has no shame and you get the Top 5 Christmas Rap Albums featuring “Christmas on Death Row”…really?
#2 – You get judged by the size of your package :: Good things come in small packages only works if its jewelry.
#1 – And the number one reason Christmas sucks (but we love it anyway)…because we have to wait 353.25 days to do it all again.
Happy Holidays from me and all of us at dt.
Here’s wishing a Merry Christmas to all and to all a good site