Don't Throw Like A Girl When Playing With The Guys

For some reason I always seem to end up working at companies where I am the only female on staff. Not just at dt, but at other companies as well. So after spending more than a few years in the all-boys club, I have learned a few things. These tips are not just for those like me in an all male environment, but for women everywhere who have to deal with men on a daily basis. Take it from me, there are some things that are helpful to know.

Many women go into a job because they are excited about the opportunity and the chance to make a difference. They want to feel good about their role and the contributions they are making to the company, and to society in what they do. Why do you think there are so many women teachers? If corralling snotty-nose little ones all day is not giving back, I don’t know what is.

Guys on the other hand are mostly at work to collect a paycheck and more often than not, win the game. Think sports. You don’t play to have fun – you play to win. Its important to realize this early so that when you share a great idea with your male co-worker over lunch about how to make the CRM system better, and the next thing you know he’s gotten a promotion because of YOUR idea, he’s just playing the game. And he’s there to win.

Don’t Expect to Find Your BFF at Work
Many women have a hard time when people don’t like them. And this is why some women are ‘soft’ in the workplace. We think – if they don’t like me, then how can I be in the same place 8+ hours a day with them? Thing is, you’re working and you have a job to do. If you are a boss, be a boss. You’re not at work to make friend, and some people just may not like you.

Respect and friendship are two different things. When you are doing your job, and doing it well, you will gain respect. Even if that means scolding an employee for a bad job. Just remember that you all have the same goal – and if you are working to make the company a success, no one can fault you for this.

Sit at the Big Boys Table
So many times I hear women afraid to position themselves in a place of power at the conference table during meetings – client or internal. We fear “If I sit next to the CEO then people will think I’m a suck-up.” But when Bob or Doug sits there does anyone think anything other than he took an open seat? Point made.

Speak Up and Speak Out
Why do women feel that they can’t speak up and take a stand in business? I know that we, as women, have come a looong way over the past generations, but I still hear some of my friends saying that they are afraid to speak up in concern that they will look too mouthy or will appear to be a b@$*h. You are smart. You have ideas. If you don’t share them and take credit for them, someone else will. And it will most likely be a man.

Laugh at Yourself
During a tense meeting one of the guys on your team cracks a stupid joke. Everyone laughs… except you. You feel like you need to be serious – this proposal is due in three days and you have 10 days of work to do!

Don’t take things so seriously! You’re at work with your co-workers more time than you are any place else. Have fun! You don’t need to be a stand-up comedian, but you can take things lightly and have some fun. You’ll likely make more BFFs this way anyway.

Be a Woman and Be Yourself
Just because you are in a male dominated workplace, it does not mean you need to join their fantasy football league and down burgers at lunch with the boys. If you join their ‘league’, don’t watch sports and ask your husband or brother for your picks, you will get picked on. No doubt. And if you start to beat them… oh boy…

Just be yourself! Wear your jewelry. Don your favorite pink sweater. Don’t think burping out loud and talking about bowl movements will earn you friends (unless, of course, that’s how you are naturally. I’m lucky to have a pretty gross sense of humor, so I may be different).

And be a woman. What I do, naturally, is offer an open ear to the guys once in a while. No one listens like a woman does. And we don’t judge or try and ‘fix’ the problem for our guy-pals. We just listen and let them vent. This is something that they can’t get from the guys and will definitely earn you points.